Good bloody question! And we were STILL late!
Pancake day 2016, will go down in our record books. From 5.30am, when our 5YO sprung from her slumber, to 9.05am, when we both sobbed our way in to her classroom, we had the mother of all fights and it left me distraught all day.
And it went a little like this….
5.30 -She stormed into our room
Monologuing at high volume ‘get up NOW’.
I’d been up in the night so was finding it difficult to get up. That’s when she threatened to hit me.
Then she did. Hard on my head.
I told her to go to her room.
She continued shouting so I got up so not to wake hub.
I played with her for an hour and a half doing what she wanted. I am literally keeping the peace.
7am – asked her to get her clothes out. This was wrong apparently. Epic tantrum ensued, no reasoning. I ended up leaving her.
7.30 – she came down in pants and tshirt saying could she have breakfast before getting ready. I pick my battle (I’m SO tired) and say yes. She then asks to watch in front of tv, i say yes ok but at 8am we must go upstairs to finish getting ready.
7.55am – 5 min warning before to is switched off
8.00am – i tell her the time and that we must go upstairs. I have to create a game of sorts to coerce her to go. In her bedroom we look at the leggings, there are no pink leggings. We divert this potential meltdown as she opts for a mini skirt (one that I Should have thrown out because it’s far too short and small). After some clever negotiations I manage to get some leggings on her.
8.25 – teeth brushing nightmare of nightmares. It’s all too much for her, so It’s a point blank ‘no’. I must ask/request/order this activity to be done in excess of 10 times but STILL nothing. She uses the toothbrush in her hair.
I walk away and leave it. Panic is rising and I am running out of angles to take. She’s run back to her bedroom so I go in and I remove some toys and take her by the hand back to the bathroom. There, she still doesn’t brush her teeth. By this time I’ve been the ‘compliant mum’, ‘flexible mum’ ‘reasonable mum’, ‘playful mum’ ‘negotiator mum’, ‘do it now or else mum’. I try the 1,2,3,4,5 count. At 5 still nothing so I walk away again to rethink strategy.
Just as i walk out and she screams ‘I was just about to do it’. Argh!
But she didn’t so as she barged passed me making her way to her room again, I felt my arm extend and I smacked her as she went by.
It was like a relflex. That was the only thing I had left. And it still didn’t work.
No crying. But then “mummy i can’t keep my crying in”.
I calm myself and actually want her to cry , I try and chat but we’re beyond that.
I go fetch her shoes and coat. As she testily comes down the stairs she says that whenever a teacher asks how she is, she doesn’t want to tell the truth incase it gets me into trouble 😦
I burst into tears – we’ve always said that she can tell teachers anything, no fear. It broke my heart. Was it the smack? Should I have let the teeth brushing go? Am I simply a terrible ogre of a mother?
I look at my little girl and want to wrap her up. This can’t be normal. What I am doing wrong? What is she feeling? I want to make it all better.
But both of us are crying in the kitchen. It’s 9am and the school bell has gone.
I scribble a note to give to the teacher and have to go the main entrance of the school as the playground gates are now locked.
I deliver my child to her classroom and catch the eye of a teacher assistant. Both me and my girl are crying and are taken to the side room. I say that F can say anything she wants to her teachers – it doesn’t matter if I get into trouble.
Eventually she goes into class but is oh so clingy. The TA calms me down and gives me a nice talk and some tissues. Im utterly exhausted and drained.
I then have to go to work.
Thankfully I emailed the teacher and she already knew what we were going through at home with Asd assessment etc and reported that F was having a lovely day.