Pancake day 2016, will go down in our record books. From 5.30am, when our 5YO sprung from her slumber, to 9.05am, when we both sobbed our way in to her classroom, we had the mother of all fights and it left me distraught all day.
But there’s a difference between knowing and feeling it.
And this morning when i opened my Christmas card, i felt it.
Seeing those few words thanking me, has made a world of difference.
It erases the times when his Bipolar told me that i’m not helping, or that it’s my fault he’s ill or that he ‘wasn’t like this before he met me’ and all the times when I’ve felt I’ve really put my all into helping him but to no avail.
(I’m new to this too. Fingers and thumbs and all that)
He’s in a really good place at the moment (today) and i actually don’t think it took him too much trouble to write this card for me. It came from the heart, and that’s why i felt it.
I won’t lie. Babies can totally mess with your head.
Self doubt, lack of sleep, relationship changes, missing the old you….
It’s frickin intense.
So when i got this message from my heavily pregnant best friend (who is completely bricking it/in denial) I was surprised….
It turns out i’ve probably had this ‘wisdom’ for about 4 and half years according to results from a survey by Nurofen for Children.
They found that most first time mums felt confident after about 6 months. So what on earth could this advice have been that i shared with my friend?
*Racks tired brain*
Wear a long sleeved nightie with buttons down front for breastfeeding
Night time feeds are COLD, so my motto is to get your boobs out and keep your arms warm. In that Nurofen survey, 69% of new mums said they felt knackered. I know from experience how sleep deprivation can impact parent’s health (but don’t let that scare you), keep snuggly.
Never EVER Google
For reliable and unscary web info, start with established sites like Mumsnet.com and Netmums.com. For health, nhs.uk is great, and brand’s websites/Facebook often have expert and mum chat too.
Don’t pretend you know what you’re doing
Good news! You WILL have mother’s instinct! Bad news – you won’t believe it for months. Baby’s health, feeding and sleep patterns will be your biggest grey hair creator (as backed up by that survey), so do ask and accept help. Some stuff will seem weird; I remember squirting breast milk into my daughter’s eye to get rid of conjunctivitis. Randomly, it worked.
Other topics we covered
Get a dog walker for the early days – babies do not leave on demand
Don’t freeze breast milk – you can, but the whole process is such a faff
Freeze food instead – cook now, eat later
Buy a nappy bag with zips galore – you’ll keep everything in it
You can reheat cups of tea in the microwave – who knew?!
Gauge temperature by kissing forehead – amazing trick
I don’t know when my ‘turning’ point was, confidence creeps up on you with each nappy change, but it does happen.But whenever it happens…it does happen. And it’s a really wonderful realisation, so hang on in there.
I am a member of theMumsnet Bloggers Network Research Panel, a group of parent bloggers who have volunteered to blog about a specified subject or review products, services, events and brands for Mumsnet. I have editorial control and retain full editorial integrity. I have been entered into a prize draw to win a £100 voucher as a token of thanks for this post.
Please note that this post is not intended to contain any medical advice. Always contact your own doctor or health professional if you have any concerns about your child’s health.
(i) Survey of 2,000 parents with a baby under 6 years old, commissioned by Nurofen for Children (May 2014)
(ii) Survey of 2,000 mums by One Poll, commissioned by Nurofen for Children (October 2013)